


A letter

by TheSicklyJamesMadison



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Death, Just a thing for the Demon Squad, Lots of Angst, Reset au, help Badison, not related to Hamilton really, this is not what I usually write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 14:05:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16041983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSicklyJamesMadison/pseuds/TheSicklyJamesMadison
Summary: Badison lives in the past, and it bothers him so very much.





	A letter

_ “Run.” _

 

_ “What’s the point of running if I wouldn’t ever see my family again?” _

 

_ “You’ll see us again. Just run!” _

 

_ “I’ll come back for you one day.” _

 

_ And I ran. _

 

_ I ran as far as I could. _

_ As far until it became too hard to breathe and I passed out. _

 

_ Had I known what would have happened if I ran away, I wouldn’t have. I would have fought until I was dead. But then again, I wouldn’t be where I am now. _

 

_ I guess, in some way, I’m thankful. _

 

_ \-- _

 

I wake up to find myself laying on my papers. This is unfortunate, I have stacks of paperwork that need to get done and so little time. It’s both fortunate and unfortunate that they give me this much work. I enjoy the burden, it keeps my mind off of certain things and it helps lessen his majesty's workload, but it doesn’t give me enough time to do other pleasurable things, like writing to my dear nemesis, Seabury.

 

My colleagues, the people I work with, sometimes just don’t do any work. Moxie just eats everything, including my paperwork, which earns a good scolding. Bean, she’s okay, she does her work but not nearly as much as what I get done in a day. She spends her time taking care of the two of us. We all have contrasting personalities, can you tell? 

 

Sometimes I wonder why self care is important. I don’t need much sleep unless I use too much of my magic energy, in which I tend to do a lot, I mean, someone has to conjure up more quills for myself somehow. I break too many for me to count. Eating isn’t that hard, Bean always gives us human food, like ‘cookies’. I like the cookies but Bean is reluctant on giving me too many. But nothing takes the spotlight like hot chocolate. I absolutely love hot chocolate.

 

It doesn’t help that his majesty added a rule saying we had to take care of ourselves. I mean, I understand the point but, it’s a waste of time. I could spend that time responding to a case. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in his majesty’s head. He seems so sad all the time.

 

Regardless, I respect his-

 

“Hey! Stop eating my quills!” I shout out to Moxie.

 

“Sorry man, I could keep going all day. Take a break.” She responds.

 

“I’m in the middle of something important, I don’t have time for this.” I respond, conjuring up a quill.

 

Moxie just snatched it out of my hand immediately and ate it.

 

“Take a break.” She said sternly.

 

Bean is watching us, a small frown on her face.

 

I conjure up the fourth quill of the day, and I continue to write sluggishly. I’m too tired for this nonsense.

 

I respect his- decisions to keep me from harming myself through overworking, but he should know that I prefer this over my thoughts. It’s more welcoming-

 

Moxie grabs the quill and eats it as quickly as I conjured it.

 

I attempt to conjure up a fifth quill, but I blacked out before I could even finish the spell.

 

Unfortunate.

 

\--

 

_ I walked back to the village a day later.  _

 

_ I had high hopes. living on my own, a teenager with no experience, for just a day was exhausting. I had no food, no water, no shelter, I just camped outside with nobody but my thoughts to keep me occupied. It was horrible compared to life with the people I love most. I’d never want to live like that again. But upon getting back to the village, my dreams were crushed. _

 

_ They were dead. _

 

_ The humans killed my family. _

_  
_ _ And I guess, that’s what made me snap. It was this day that I realized just how much power I really had. Buildings burned, people trying to escape but to no avail. There were no survivors after my attack. I had killed every person there. My family’s death, and the countless lives lost to my grief, continues to haunt me to this day. I feel as though this whole scenario could have been avoided had they just listened. But it happened, and they’re watching my every move. _

 

_ Every person I’ve killed after that day, every building burned due to my flames, I’m being judged for all of it. _

 

_ The humans’ souls are silently judging me. _

_  
_ _ Is this punishment for my actions?  _

_  
_ _ When I had been brought back to reality after losing my humanity for a short while, I just ran off. The Church had come to investigate, and I didn’t want to be executed for something I can’t control. I ran as far as I could before falling to the ground in exhaustion. I had used too much magic, possibly more than I could have handled then, destroying everything around me.  _

 

_ Maybe that’s why I’ve become so serious and lawful. I feel as though every action has to be justified for it to be correct. Murders are no better to that one law I have set for myself. _

 

_ The others don’t know just how much blood is on my hands due to my past actions. _

 

\--

 

I wake up to a few of my papers gone. I notice Moxie is working on them, what a surprise. Moxie almost never works. She just eats my papers instead.   
  


“What are you working on?” I ask.

 

“A troubling case.” She replied.

 

“Can I see it?”

 

“Fine, but no writing anything.”

 

I sigh.

 

“Alright.”

 

\--

 

And that was what set the stage for the problems we’re about to face in the future. Exhaustion, secrets, there’s so much we don’t know about eachother, despite working under his majesty for quite a while. Whatever it is, I wonder what the future has in store for us. It better be worth my precious time. I apologize for my informalities. I had hardly introduced myself.

 

My name is James Badison.

 

_ My name is James A- no, I can’t use my family’s last name anymore.  _

 

_ My name is James Badison, and I had destroyed an entire village in my own rage.  _

 

_ I’m a monster. _

  
  



End file.
